Visit my new site at

Hi everyone,

I have updated my site and invite you to go there from now on:  I will be posting new entries there.

Thanks so much!


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Can you be friends with an ex?

Break up

When it comes to break-ups, I tend to cut and run.  I typically want nothing to do with my ex, except that we still usually share one important thing: mutual friends.  So, what do you do when your mutual friends invite both of you to a party, dinner or other social event?  Do you politely decline, feigning illness, or do you brave it out and hope that he doesn’t show up with his latest showpiece of a girlfriend?

For me, it depends on how recent the break-up was, whether I still have strong feelings for my ex, and how he might react to seeing me.  Break-ups are never easy, and interacting with someone I haven’t quite gotten over is a lose-lose situation.

What are your thoughts on exes? Have you remained friends, or do you go out of your way to avoid any kind of interaction?  I’d love to hear from you!

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The Best Online Dating Profile Contest on OK Cupid!

Screen shot 2009-10-28 at 11.08.27 PM
Listen up guys and girls—you can spruce up your online dating profiles and win $250 for it!
Members of OkCupid have an opportunity to enter the Who Has the Best Online Dating Profile Contest. This contest is intended to show off the smart, attractive, diverse and very dateable people who are currently using OkCupid (speaking of which, are you a current OkCupid member who’d like to enter the contest – click here).
The Who Has the Best Online Dating Profile Contest is open to all OkCupid members.  Non-members will have the opportunity to vote either on OkCupid or through one of a dozen blogs that are working with OkCupid to showcase the contest. 
The contest runs from October 20, 2009, to November 30, 2009. Winners will be announced on December 2, 2009. All contest participants will be automatically enrolled in a sweepstakes for $250 cash.
So, if you have been considering joining a new online dating site or spicing up your current profile, this is a great opportunity!

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Facebook, you’ve ruined my dating life…

Picture 14We all go a little nuts with the information super highway at our fingertips.  If I’m about to go on a blind date, of course I Google the guy to make sure he has no police record and he is who he claims to be.  After the date, I may friend him on Facebook, or start following his tweets.  Unfortunately, when we start checking these resources a little too frequently, it could work against us.

I’m reminded of a friend who was in love with a good friend of hers for at least a year.  She would check his FB page every hour, and obsess over girls in every photo, or who he had just friended, or what his relationship status was.  This example is kind of extreme, but when it comes to dating, we have to back away from the computer.  Don’t obsess over someone’s status reports or pictures.  Don’t prematurely post your status as “in a relationship” if you have been out with a great guy 4 times.  Give him a little space to breathe.  And please…talk first before posting.

It’s late and I’m tired.  For those of you who are up, enjoy the surfing.  I’m headed off to check FB.  Ha, kidding…

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Dating is going mobile…

Well the truth is, dating already IS mobile.  We text to plan the date, text our friends during the date, and if we have romantic feelings after, we’ll send flirtatious texts to rekindle the romance.  So, it is only fitting that the world of dating be accessible through your phone—your iPhone that is.

There are a couple of new iPhone apps that launched this week, and I’m scared to download them.  If you are a player and want to hook up, there’s one for you.  Or, if you are jaded and would rather clean your cat’s litterbox than suffer through another lame date, yep—there’s one for you, too.

Check out my latest Examiner article for the details…and happy Thursday!

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It’s Friday night and Halloween is coming…

Picture 5 10-07-19I’ve always loved a good ghost story.  When I was little, there was a tv show called “That’s Incredible!”, which mostly featured creepy, haunted places around the U.S…ghost effects added for entertainment value.  I was about 6 at the time I watched it, so everything seemed so real.  I grew up wanting to visit the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, which was built by a superstitious woman who listened to spirits and Ouija boards.  In her house, stairs led to walls, and doors opened to empty space.  If you walked through, you could fall down three flights to your death.  Supposedly, ghosts from the civil war haunted her and haunt this place still.  

Now, there are similar tv series like “Ghost Hunters” that carry on the tradition of checking out haunted places.  I still watch these shows, now with only a little more skepticism.  

I’ve even had my own “haunted house” experience.  Well, sorta.  I worked at a school in Hollywood for young actors and actresses, built a block away from the infamous Black Dahlia’s house, with old bungalows for dorm rooms.  It was dark and creepy at night.  You could tell that over the years, bad things had happened here.

I was at my desk one Thursday morning (conveniently in October, a few short weeks before Halloween), and some students came by to report strange things happening in their bungalow.  Kitchen drawers and cabinets would open and close on their own.  They heard footsteps up and down the hall at night when nobody was walking.  One girl even claimed she felt hands around her throat one morning when she was taking a shower.  All of the roommates wanted to move out.  But first, they decided to take matters into their own hands…with some candles, a chilly night, a camera and a Ouija Board.

When they reported back to me Monday morning about their seance experience, they were frightened and confused.  Apparently, they didn’t get much of a “response” from any spirits.  They would ask questions, ask the candle to flicker, yet nothing happened.  So, they thought it was a lost cause.  Then they started taking pictures in the darkness, hoping something might appear to explain what they were experiencing.  Nothing.  Except for one picture.

In this picture, there was a definite white shape within the darkness.  It wasn’t a reflection, and it hadn’t been photoshopped.  It was just there, a part of the picture.  The shape had long wavy hair and a very pointed chin, definitely a female figure.  They were convinced this was the spirit wandering around their bungalow.

Whether or not they actually snapped evidence of a spirit, I’ll never know.  But I do believe in ghosts, and Halloween tends to remind me of my fascination.  This is why I like to celebrate Halloween with a good old-fashioned scary experience.  I think we all at some level fear what happens after we die, and hope that we aren’t trapped in some limbo wandering around like ghosts.  Playing with the idea for some reason makes me feel like it’s not so real.  So, I’m a fan of haunted houses, even though I will sleep with the lights on for the next week.

I plan to try the LA Haunted Hayride this year.  I would love to hear if you’ve been, or if you have any ideas for other scary experiences (like Universal Studios or Knotts Scary Farm, both of which are awesome).  I offered some suggestions of places to go for Halloween in my latest article.  TGIF…

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Why are all the good ones taken?

I really hate hearing this question.  For one thing, if you are single, you are basically dismissing yourself as well as all the other singles out there.  But even worse, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.  We get depressed, we stay home, we go out on dates like they are an inconvenience rather than an opportunity.  So, who would want to date us?

Now, I get tired and frustrated like the rest of you.  Sparks do not fly with most people that we meet.  But it only takes one person to get us excited, even if it means we have to plod through 50 to get there.

Next time, put a smile on your face and push yourself out the door.  Here are some tips to help you over the hump.  You never know.

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